school pictures

valentina had her picture taken this week at her preschool program. we selected this new outfit - a gift from grandma lori when she visited last month. she is a girlie girl no doubt. loves her tutu's, trying on new outfits, gazing at herself in the mirror and baby dolls.

she adores her new sister and often hears her cry before i do when waking from a nap. i wonder when they will start to beat each other up as siblings do. in my case, i liked to punch my sister in the arm and back. she used her long fingernails to scratch me and pull my hair. there were some pretty gruesome battles. its a miracle we ended up so close as adults. we laugh about it now.

i took maxima for her one month check up yesterday. she now weighs 4.25kilos or 9.3 pounds. she's gained weight steadily since birth and weighs more than valentina did at this age. she's longer too, blond and generally peaceful. i feel the same bond and love for her as i did with her sister - no effort, its just there.

i practiced yoga twice this week for the first time since the birth. it felt so good to move my body but it was a terse reminder that i have a long recovery to go before a return to a 90 minute ashtanga practice. my ego wants to squeeze back into my pre-pregnancy pants but i know its rushing it. breastfeeding is going well but it certainly sparks the appetite.

i keep thinking of something my friend jenny said to me shortly after valen's birth when i was struggling with breastfeeding - that 'the best mom is a happy mom'. i know it to be true now and am trying to find that balance without the guilt. as a yoga teacher from san francisco who had two beautiful homebirths, one might assume i would also advocate the attachment parenting model - nursing on demand, co-sleeping, wearing your baby etc. i do see the value in each of those practices but for me, with this child, it's not happening. a few days ago i started maxima on a routine of nursing, wake time and sleeping that has had a profoundly positive impact on her and the rest of the family. it works for us and for me. i am a happier mom and a better mom with the predictability of her cycles and more rest. she is sleeping a bit longer at night too - 3 1/2 hours at a stretch sometimes.