Moon in Virgo

My dear friend Sharon, woman of many talents (writer, shiatsu therapist, astrologist, former Wicca practitioner) did my chart last week. Of course I've always known I'm a Leo and as long as I can remember my mother brackets all news with "well, mars is in retrograde, so..." but discovered that I have a moon in Virgo - which explains my previous professional success in cubic worlds requiring attention to detail and a fastidiousness unheard of amongst generic leonines. Also, Virgos can be quite hard on themselves. Since Valentina's birth I can't seem to give myself a break on any one thing I used to do. Finding time for writing has been one of many postpartum challenges. With pregnancy came a surge of creative energy - last year I drafted nearly 30 stories and painted about 10 canvases. I'm trying to get back to writing now but it's all just shit. Mostly I whine like I'm doing right now. Nothing comes and if it does it bores me to hell. I fear the worst. So, friend Sharon and I are meeting weekly to write, sit in a cafe and encourage each other to do what we are not doing at home when we should - putting pen to paper.

The annual Feria de Libros is coming up at the end of April. To my horror and others delight, the US embassy wants to have our groups' full participation like last year. We'll publish an anthology of short stories, do readings at the booth and lead a workshop/speech on how to start and maintain a writers group. While others in my writers group have updated their bios to include prizes in writing contests entered, scholarships to prestigious writing programs, finishing a screenplay etc, I have nothing to add. Boo hoo. People keep saying "but you had a baby!" - as if that is accomplishment enough. The Virgo pouts.

Here's a photo from a one day writer's retreat we had about a month ago at Joanna's opulent home in Olivos - a wealthy suburb north of BA. We spent a glorious 5 hours beneath an giant avocado tree writing, recommitting ourselves to goals and eating well - as always. It was the longest stretch of time I'd been away from the baby. It both broke my heart and lifted my spirits.

A day at the office

At 3/12 months, we decided it was time for Valentina to get a job. So now as part of her daily routine, she goes to the "office" (the bed in her room) and sits at her "desk" (the boppy). Her "employees" (the pink giraffe, the blue suited bear, the formless duck, the multi-colored centipede, and the permagrin doll) sit attentively while she orders them around (more milk! fewer naps! sing me a song!) like a good chief executive. In Argentine style, she spends about 15 minutes at the office in the morning and maybe another 10 in the afternoon before calling it a day.

Now that she's entered the stage of being curious about the world, I am constantly thinking of things to keep her amused, engaged and most important - not crying. We go on errands - the butcher, the fruit stand, the farmacia, the newstand, the kiosco. I put her in the Baby Bjorn while I put on my makeup and putz about. We go to the park and sometimes meet up with other mommies. We look out over the US Embassy garden next door to see if the Jacarandas are blooming yet and what the weather has in store. Yesterday we watched a rainstorm that lasted 4 hours (her attention lasted two minutes). But, Valentina's favorite activity is watching the bulldog. Its like her own private zoo.

Park play

Just saying it out loud I fear jinxing myself but I'm too excited to keep the news to myself. Valentina is sleeping through the night. Monday it was 9pm - 5am. Then 9-5:30 then 9-7 and last night 9 -6. Always goes back to sleep after nursing and a bottle for another 3 hours. Starts her day around 9 or 9:30am with a huge smile and giggles. Is this a fluke or is it her new routine? I don't know. All I know is that the birds chirp louder, the sun shines brighter, the summer peaches taste sweeter and I don't wake up with a scowl. Sleep is a wonderful thing.

Argentines vacation in January (the July of the southern hemisphere). All around the city hand made signs posting vacation dates hang on closed doors. Most of my new mommy friends have returned and we are now starting to gather with the babes in the afternoons. Tuesday we met at Parque Las Heras. At this point the babies are too young to interact but we sit with them while they coo and burp. At least we have a chance to exchange info on sleeping patterns, feeding and tricks for calming the cry. My friend Mariela (Argentine) works at a telecom company and was the only one of the group to go back full time at three months. Her husband Paul(Australian) has one of those oddball expat jobs. He is paid by an Asian company to attend the local soccer matches and report the play by play to them via international cell calls so they can bet on it. I suspect its on the up and up the way he tells everyone freely what he does but it sounds fishy to me. Anyway, he is the stay at home dad. He joined our last mommygroup for a bit and complained there is no support for dads here. (which is true - stay at home dads are nonexistent) He asked me if Valentina jerks her head back when I hold her and how much she eats at each feeding. I try not to play the comparison game but its hard not to. Valentina has the most hair, the biggest sweetest smile and the cutest outfits by far (thanks to friends and family).

Mini Cher

Hugh calls this Valentina's "Cher" outfit. She's starting to grow into her adult looking clothes so even though we don't have many special occasions for it, we play dress up from time to time in the house. The day she wore the frilly Cher ensemble, we went to a mommy's group I've been to a few times now. The facilitator/instructor lady taught us how to put the babes on their stomachs to become accustomed to the crawling position and also how to prop them in a box so they can learn to sit up on their own. Mostly she encourages us to find positions the babies can stay in on their own (15 minutes or so) without being held all day long. Valentina's favorite is on her back staring up at the whirling ceiling fan. It so fascinates and delights her that she laughs, squeals and gurgles to it for over half an hour each time. Listening to her laugh is one of my newest joys.

Hugh videotaped them playing with the dog today. It's the most fun she's had in her three months of life. I know the grandmas will love it and anyone else that has a soft spot for happy babies or playful bulldogs, go to www.youtube.com and search "Utta and Valentina". There are two of them.

Baby V

Not Pampita

They know her by first name like Cher, Madonna, Bono. She is Argentina’s Heidi Klum – a model, sometime actress, celebrity and gorgeous-bodied mom. She is the woman all normal moms here love to hate.

I hate her too. When I was pregnant last winter, Pampita posed boldly in a string bikini on the cover of Gente magazine (Argentina’s People) in her 8th month of her second pregnancy. She glowed and looked sexier than most non pregnant women I know. She is in Gente magazine again this week. This time to flaunt her taut bod six months post birth. My jaw dropped when I saw the g-string bikini shots of her cavorting on the Chilean beach with her beau and two young children. She hasn’t a touch of cellulite or loose skin anywhere. You would never know she was big bellied – twice. I hate her.

I gained 40 pounds in my 9 ½ months of growing Valentina. 30 melted off within two weeks of the birth with little effort other than breastfeeding. The last 10 aren’t budging. My belly, which used to be toned and flat from yoga is now a bowl of jello. The skin is squishy and loose and spills over too tight jeans. The vertical dark line still runs from my sternum to well past my belly button. My hips are wider and seem to smirk when I attempt to wear any of my pre-baby pants. I am not Pampita. They say she went to a spa for two weeks after the baby was born to get drained, massaged, wrapped and who knows what else. Whatever she did, it worked. What I am doing is not working. Some days I do yoga at home in between feedings. Others I go rollerblading around the lake. I tried once last week to run for the first time in nearly a year and lasted half a lap with lots of gasps for air. My organs felt like they were being jostled around an empty suitcase. This is not the body I remember but it’s the one I’m stuck with now.

2009

Sleep.

I have a feeling my desire for more of and current lack of sleep will be a major theme this new year. My aunt tells me being tired is a constant state of being as a parent no matter what the age. Lovely. I rang in the new year asleep. Valentina and I stayed up until 10pm and then went down for the night after her bath and a poorly executed bedtime lullaby. I woke at midnight to the sounds of fireworks exploding outside the apartment - across the street at both plazas and the parque Rosedal. The fireworks lasted for hours. This week I learned that Argentines do fireworks so well they export them to the Chinese. There were still firework sonic booms at 7am the next morning. There appear to be no rules with regard to who can set them off or where they can be used. Grandmas to 6 year olds throw mini hand grenades into oncoming traffic for sport once a year in celebration of Ano Nuevo. Seeing it reminds me that yes, we live in a third world country. We stayed in to protect Utta who last year trembled all night from the noise. Also, because we have yet to venture out at night with or without the baby.

I am making my way back to some of my former activities. Yoga practice when I can squeeze it in at home, Thursdays@three writing group and next month I will return to teaching prenatal yoga once a week. Finding time to write is the hardest thing. Any "free" time I have is spent with my face buried in a pillow. There seems to be no catching up. The important thing is Valentina is well fed, rested and growing quickly out of her cute onesies.